Indulge confession
Mindfulness Living

It’s Not Working: Tough Self Love

Can you believe we are in the last week of my blogging challenge? I really cant believe we are starting week 4 today. Although challenging, so far I have learned a ton! I plan on posting a reflection post next week on all the things that I learned about myself during this time of flexing my blogger consistency muscle.

This week, however I want to talk about my confessions. Yep, you read that right! Last week I had to have a hard conversation with myself and show tough self love. I had to be honest and admit what I already knew to be true. I dont know about you friend, but those conversations can be the the toughest ones to have.

Over the last few weeks I have been OVER indulging in all the things that I love. Now dont get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with indulging and doing the things that you love. The issue comes in when you living your best life collides with how your body functions and messes with your self love. Admission that there is an issue is never easy and trust me, I let myself ignore what I knew to be true for a few weeks.

The Confession

Alright friend, I know what you are thinking…… what were you doing? Well, for the last few weeks I have been staying up LATE and I mean LATE several nights a week. I have been eating all of the carbs. Baking. Cooking. Snacks. Ive been eating ALL of them. And remember I said Ive been up late? Yea eating snacks all times of day and night. Ive also been partaking in libations more than my norm. I completely stopped my cardio training for the half marathon in November. Sigh

Im going to say the thing that we dont want to say. Alot of us spend time in the beginning of the year + spring preparing for summer. The whole “sun’s out, buns out”. We prep and plan for a spectacular summer, the parties, activities, vacations ect. Summer is the time of year where you wear the least amount of clothing so it is natural to spend the months leading up to that time prepping.

So when it was pretty evident that summer as I knew it would NOT look like it has in the past, I gave myself some room to play + be creative with how I spent my time. *cue all the things*

The Reaction
self love fun

Initially, not even gonna lie to you. It was kinda fun, staying up late (still waking up at normal time), eating whatever I wanted when I wanted. The first few days honestly felt liberating. It felt as if I had just moved out of my moms house back when I went off to college. Do you remember that little taste of freedom when you first left home? I felt that I was doing a favor to my self by letting loose a bit. During this pandemic I still kept a schedule. Held tightly to it. Added things + removed things. I kept my routine about the same but added my indulgence of tv, good foods + snacks and a lil’ drinky drink.

I noticed during the second week of living my best life that getting up early was getting tough, especially with me staying up so late. I felt tired all day long and remarkably when it was time for bed, I was wide awake. I started to notice breakouts in my skin and overall sluggishness. I was moody y’all. The food I was eating wasn’t fueling me in the way that a cleaner diet had and my insides were PISSED about it. I had upset stomach, bloating and just that yuck feeling all the time unless I was feeding my face. In those moments I felt golden, until I didn’t of course. One thing I would like to point out is me loosening the reigns so to speak wasnt out of me not having self love but more so me over-indulging on short term gratification.

The Solution

The only way to fix an issue is admitting there is one. That’s the tough self love. Being honest with where you are in that moment. I knew within the first few days that I wasn’t about that life lol. But the same way those first few weeks of “freedom” felt leaving home I wanted to relish in the option to choose what felt right for me in that moment even if it wasn’t long lasting. Everything in life requires balance and true self love is listening to your body when its telling you something isnt working. My body was screaming, this aint it sis. My goal, probably the same as yours is to feel my very best + I wasnt if Im being honest.

Now what, since I have admitted the issue? Well for the next 30 days I am making some life choice changes. I am listening to my body + over flowing my cup with self love.


I wont be staying up late every single night because I know that my body functions its very best with a solid 8 hours of rest. I use a FitBit tracker that helps me know details on my sleep pattern each night. What I love about this tracker is it breaks down each night of sleep and which stage of sleep I spent the most time in. It also provides me with reminders when I am getting close to “bedtime” so I reach my goal of 8hrs.


Now while yoga is a wonderful activity that can build endurance and strength it is amazing coupled with other cardio rich activities. I am starting back running. There is no if’s and’s or butt’s about it. There is no activity more full body that does more for heart health than running. Im committed to getting out there and running/walking at the very least 2x a week.


As far as nutrition goes, I am trying out carb cycling. Mostly because the snacks + baked goods I was eating were very carb heavy this seemed like a great place to start with getting a handle on my nutrition. On average the daily intake of carbohydrates is 225-325 g under a 2,000 calorie diet. I am sure I was hitting those numbers and then some.

My goal is not to remove carbs, but to be more mindful of my intake based on my activity level.

Not to be confused with KETO which is a diet that focuses on extremely low daily carb intake (25g) + high fat intake. I will be alternating the amount of net carbs I eat throughout the week depending on my activity level that day. High carb days will be my running days automatically.

Carb Cycling Plan I will Follow:

  • Day 1:Low (50-100g)
  • Day 2: Low (50-100g)
  • Day 3: High (200-400g)
  • Day 4: No (0-50g)
  • Day 5: Low (50-100g)
  • Day 6: Low (50-100g)
  • Day 7: High (200-400g)
  • Repeat

Whew, this felt good! To get it all out there in the open! Now that I have said it out loud, talked about it on my socials AND written a blog post about it, I am all the way in. Today was my very 1st day of the next 30 and I feel great! Got a solid 8 hr and 30 min of sleep last night, went for a run/walk this morning and have had nothing but NUTRIENT dense food all day. As I continue on I will definately provide you all updates on whats working! In the meantime between time, what are some must have fitness apps you are using right now?

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