How I Figure Out What’s “Off” in My Body

At some point between the ages of 37 + 42, my body started talking to me in a way that I never paid attention to before.

I used to pride myself on being able to get the smallest amount of sleep, maybe 4 hours + still being able to run around doing all the things the next day. Girllllll, those days are long behind me. I started to notice that not only was my hair shedding + thinning, but my patience for anything that didn’t add substance to my life was quickly removed.

None of the changes came with a big announcement or a big moment. Things just felt off.

And if you’re a woman that is in her late 30s or 40s, I would bet money that you know exactly what I mean. It’s something that you can’t name. All you know is you don’t feel like you.

Truth Moment? “Off” is one of the hardest things in the world to explain out loud.

It’s even more difficult to put into words in a fifteen-minute appointment with a doctor sitting behind a computer screen. You describe feeling foggy, snappy, that you haven’t been sleeping, can’t fit in your clothes + yet you haven’t changed a thing. Their response is typically a “Well, this is normal + what everybody is feeling.”

Maybe it is + maybe it isn’t. Regardless of where the truth lies, this is YOUR first time feeling it. And the “normal” doesn’t necessarily mean you have to just live with it.

Why is “Off” So Hard to Pin Down?

Here is what’s happening just beneath the surface.

In perimenopause, our estrogen doesn’t just drop + stay there. It flows between rising + falling, unevenly, sometimes month to month. That is a big part of why one week you feel fine + then the next week you are ready to fight in the produce aisle. The Mayo Clinic says that these changes often start at some point in your 40s, but can show up in your 30s too.

Because our hormones swing like that, one singular blood test on one random day usually can’t tell if you’re in perimenopause. A thyroid check is completely different, that one can actually tell you something + I absolutely will always recommend asking for one. The hormone swings are why so many of us walk out of the doctor’s office with a “your labs look fine” + no answers or relief.

On top of that, a lot of things can feel the same. Low iron. Your thyroid. Stress. Bad sleep with a huge amount of sleep debt that has been stacking up for months. Your cycle shifting. All of these overlap, so the “I’m tired + foggy” could literally be five different things wearing the same outfit.

So I stopped trying to guess. What I do now is work backwards.

The Tool: How I Track Perimenopause Symptoms (+ Reverse Engineer “Off”)

Now that I know what I know, this is the exact way that I think when something feels off for me + for the women I work with. Grab a notebook or take a screenshot, to refer back to at 2am when sleep won’t come.

1. What exactly feels off? Not the “I feel bad.” Get real specific. Is it the sleep? Mood? Energy? Your skin, hair, period, weight, sex drive? Write every single one down, even the ones that feel silly.
2. Can you pinpoint it? Pick the one that bothers you the most. Where in your body? What time of day? Is it every day or just some days?
3. When did you first notice? Think back, was it last month? Last summer? Since your birthday? You’d be surprised how often the answer is “longer than I thought.”
4. What was different right before it started? This is one of the biggest questions. A new job? Move? Maybe a break up or a divorce? Did your youngest leave for college? Did you start a new medication? Your cycle got shorter or longer? Less sleep. More wine. Stopped walking. Started a hard workout plan? Write down anything that changed, even if it doesn’t seem connected.
5. Track it for at least two cycles, or about two months if you’re not bleeding regularly. A few words a day. How you slept. Your mood and energy. Whether you’re bleeding. Whether you get hot at night. That’s it. Patterns don’t show up in one bad day, they show up on paper over time.

Where I Look First

Once I have the picture, I don’t change everything all at once. I take it step by step + go in order, because if you try to change 5 things at once you’ll never know which one worked.

Sleep first. Every morning I use my Ultrahuman ring to check how I slept the night before + I plan my day around it. If my sleep is off, everything else is off. Fix your sleep before moving forward.

Then food. Am I actually feeding myself real food? Not the kids or the other people in the house. Me. Real meals, enough protein + fiber, not running off iced coffee or matcha until 2pm.

Then herbs + rituals. Morning, night + throughout the day. Things that help me regulate my nervous system when I am feeling anxious.

Then movement. Gentle, not harsh. I have no desire to try to work out like I did when I was 28. Walks, stretching, aerial, pilates + yoga does my body good.

Then labs. I get mine checked quarterly. If something like hair shedding is on your list, it’s worth asking about your thyroid, ferritin levels, iron + where you are in the hormone shift. Bring your notebook. I promise you, twenty minutes stretches so much further when you walk into your provider’s office with two months’ worth of data instead of “I just don’t feel right.”

When It’s Not a “Track It” Situation

There are some things that you don’t want or need two months of notes for. Call your provider right away if you are experiencing:

• Thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else (call or text 988 anytime)
• Very heavy bleeding, bleeding that lasts more than 7 days, bleeding between periods, or periods closer than 21 days apart
• Any bleeding after you’ve gone 12 months with no period
• A fever, or symptoms getting in the way of your everyday life

You’re Not Making It Up

If there is anything at all that I want you to walk away with it is this: When something feels off, you’re not being dramatic. You’re reading your body. You just haven’t been given the questions yet.

Now you have them.

Write it down. Work backwards. Go in order. And bring the notebook with you, because that notebook is you finally trusting yourself enough to say, this is real, + here’s the proof.

Questions, Answered

XO

Denawa Deniece

P.S. If you’ve been feeling off + you want somebody to work backwards with you, that’s exactly what I do. It starts with 20 minutes + you telling me what’s been going on.